So I'm a mean, bitter, and jealous person. But I just have that feeling today and I'm just going to write this.
I'm jealous of all my friends who have moms near by. I'm jealous of homes that don't need fixing up in every corner of the house. I'm mad that I open my mouth and offend when I try so hard to be kind. I'm mad that I'm fat and can't lose weight. I'm mad that Jessie has tied me to her by not taking a bottle.
But on the other hand, I'm so glad Chad is in my life, living right here with me. I glad Jessie is so cute. I'm glad our neighborhood is awesome. I'm glad I have a good book club.
I need a date. And I need someone to keep Jessie who could handle the crying while I'm away. I need to go to the temple. I need to be a better friend. I need to go running. Read my scriptures, prepare for my callings and stop being sick. BLAH! It's been a bumpy few months for me. But I'm going to do my best at CHOOSING happiness. Smiling even when I don't really feel it. I'm going to try. But there you have it. I'm bitter, but trying to improve.
Thanks for listening to my rant void. What did people do before there was a cloud to yell into?
3 Comments
We're all mean, jealous, and bitter sometimes. It's nice that you put this out there so others know they aren't alone. Sorry about the tough things.
I glad we have a nice neighborhood and a great book club, too. Good peope in your life make all the difference, don't they?
I wish I could offer to take Jessie for you for a while. Forgive yourself for the areas you're falling short. Be proud of the things you're doing well. And please remember it's all about times and seasons. Don't spend so much time yearning for a different season that you miss the beauty of this one.
you are so awesome to put this up and admit it! I agree with the person above we are all mean and jealous and bitter at times!!! but it's what we choose that matters and you choose happiness!! GOOD FOR YOU
Maggie, I love you. I'm pretty sure every mom goes through a period of time like this. Atleast that's what we can tell ourselves, right? The First Presidency's Message for the month of Dec had some really good points. President Eyring is one of my favorite. "We must ask in prayer that God, by the power of the Holy Ghost, will help us see our blessings clearly even in the midst of our trials." That really struck me. Seems so easy but I had never thought of it in that way. Did I mention that I love you? You're an extremely strong woman.