My sister and SIL have worked and study for the past 4 months. BYU-Idaho just released grades and both of these wonderful ladies earned all As. I'm so proud of them, especially my SIL who is pregnant with her 3rd baby. That is a lot of hard work and I respect it greatly!

Today I finally started my post  baccalaureate application for BYU. I have to send my transcript from BYU-Idaho. I was a little shocked when I saw that in the summer of 2004, the semester before Chad and I got married, it had Calculus II D-, class retaken. I was shocked because I have no memory of this. I kind of remember that it was on my transcript but I do not have any memories of that class or the one retaken. I don't remember failing it, I don't remember a teacher, I don't remember anything!

This is surprising for two reasons. First, I'm good at math. I'm not the best but I'm good. Second, I'm highly prideful, especially about math (in case you missed that with the first surprise), and I'm highly emotional.  How do I not remember failing a math class? Where are those memories? I had to be devastated! I imagine that I complained about the teacher, the class, everything except me, while inside feeling like the dumbest scum of the earth. Upon asking Chad about this event, he confirmed that I was a wreck.

All of this grade business has me thinking. You know the quote about no success making up for failure in the home? I once heard the reversal of that. Some failures will be compensated by success in the home. I'm not saying it's ok to fail calculus. I had to retake it to get my degree. I did the next semester and got an A. So maybe a little extra time getting to know Chad before we got married, preparing for entering the temple and other spiritual preparations (let's stress spiritual here) helped it be ok. Maybe not. Maybe it was too much time with Chad that had absolutely nothing to do with spiritual and I just forgot. I remember the spiritual times and the fun times, I just don't remember which one I decided to do instead of calc homework. Heck, for all I know, maybe I worked my butt off and I just wasn't enough for that class the first time around.  All I know is I remember and see everyday the success of the marriage so far and never even think about the failure of the classroom.

I also got a C- in a class that I look back fondly on. I learned a ton about my subject, my future career and me. I got a C- and it just doesn't matter. The world's labels fall off. Some take longer to peel away but they fall off. It was fun to pull out those "judgements" and see how they haven't affected my life. I'm glad I worked hard, I'm grateful I learned, I'm grateful for the piece of paper that says I finished, but I'm most grateful that Heavenly Father isn't going to ask for my transcript.

p.s. Please don't take this the wrong way. Work hard, get good labels, just don't let the good or the bad define who you are.